Strange incantations for romance and riches;
Bright copper cauldrons and warm wanton Witches;
Little brown satyrs that dance in the Spring:
These are a few of my favourite things.

Candles that flicker on Esbats and Sabbats;
Quaint mating customs of humans and rabbits;
Magical marriages, casual flings:
These are a few of my favourite things.

Rites where you’d feel overdressed in your undies;
Starting daft rumours to frighten the fundies;
Old Dennis Wheatleys and new Stephen Kings:
These are some more of my favourite things.

When the incense makes your eyes sting
And your lungs deflate,
Don’t hang around counting your favourite things;
You’ll only asphyxiate.

Hexing the neighbours with spells long and graphic;
Travelling on broomsticks, avoiding the traffic;
Midsummer frolics in magical rings:
These are a few of my favourite things.

Ticklish sensations when folks five-fold kiss you;
Old dusty grimoires and Green Egg’s next issue;
All of the weirdness that Hallowe’en brings:
These are a few of my favourite things.

Strict Eco-Pagans who hate all that’s wasteful;
Gothettes who think that Elvira’s too tasteful;
Brand new initiates tied up with strings:
These are some more of my favourite things.

When the chants that your Priestess sings
Sound like New Age kitsch,
Distract her by listing the favourite things
Of this quintessential Witch.

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